forgotten_aria

I did my first double under today (jump rope goes twice around before you land.) I only able to do one single jump after it on the best attempts, so I have a long way to go before I can do two in a row. But still, progress.

Just for my own records (and anyone's amusement) here are some of my current PRs. My weight lifting technique is still really bad, so deadlift and snatch, in particular, are still low until I can clean up my technique. Also squats, because my knees, are just amazing I can do them at all. I hope to be a lot stronger in a year.

back squat: 15lbs (5 rep max)
bench: 95 lbs (3 rep max)
Clean and Jerk: 80lbs (3 rep max)
Deadlift: 155lbs (2 rep max)
hang power snatch: 75lbs
power clean: 80lbs
power snatch: 80lbs (3 rep max)
push jerk: 100lbs (3 rep max)
push press: 105lbs
seated press: 75lbs (5 rep max)

I was the only one in crossfit class today so I got some time to work on my bench press with the instructor there to help me. I was disappointed by my one rep max only being 95lbs, since when I do a push up on the scale, it says 130lbs and while I know bench is harder than a push up, I can do many push ups before getting tired.

Something I will hopefully get stronger with.

I went back to crossfit for upper body day and it was much better. I think I'm signing up and they'll make an allowance for me because I want to avoid leg day and I don't really want to do Tuesdays and Thursdays (they alternate days.)

I had wanted to sign up for a silks class, but the person said the class was full but tonight the aerial silks person phoned me and said I could take a trial class and see if my knee would cause me problems. It didn't, but I couldn't get the basic climbing or foot lock down. The other students were having no problems with any of the skills. I really liked the things I could do, so after I asked her how much of a problem it was that I couldn't do the basics. She said most people have trouble, but they condition as they go. Now, I will admit I brought it up, but I said something to the effect of "I'm worried my weight will make it harder for me." Meaning that I would have to gain more strength because of my weight. But she said in response, "have you tried aerobics? You just need a class that makes you sweat." No, a class that makes me sweat is not the easy answer. That's not how it works! I am so tired of naturally thin people thinking being a normal weight is easy. I started crying, told her my weight was complicated, I'd lost weight in the past, but always gained it back and more. I told her I would come back when I was stronger, but I'm not sure I can go back. I feel embarrassed, dismissed and repugnant.

EDIT: and it took away from the things I did do, like hanging upside down and doing situps.

I'm part of a FB community that is supportive of people of every body type to exercise without the idea that they are doing that exercise to lose weight. Reading it makes me think about my own struggles with some of the issues people people in the group are struggling with and I just wanted to write those down.

First, I am so lucky to have found a Taekwondo dojang where I feel comfortable to attend. Most of the people in the group talk about how hard it is to just show up at the place where they exercise because they feel like they will be judged. I sometimes feel like that when a new student shows up, but with the existing students, I know that they know I'm going to work hard. Sometimes there are things I can't do very well (or at all because of my knees) and now I can take that in stride because I know my TKD school just wants everyone to be the best person they can be and will support that. This is not a competition.

Second, I think one of the worst things about being fat shamed growing up is made me feel like I couldn't do athletic things UNTIL I lost weight. That sports and other physical activities were only for thin people. I wish I could tell my younger self that it wasn't true. That not to say I didn't do physical things growing up (diving and soccer) but I think it was always in the back of my head that I could never be *good* at my weight so it wasn't worth trying.

Anyway, I'm super pleased this community exists. It's really amazing to watch people support each other from where ever they are to becoming more active. The group has people who run marathons to people who are trying to just walk down the block. There is good on the Internet.

The weight machine is gone (after a comically tough time getting it out because we were trying to avoid disasembling it entirely.  Hind site, disassembling it would have been easier.)  (I have also polised the gash out of the floor. it's still visitble, but not as glaring.)

The elliptical is down stairs!

The new machines are ordered! 

I've had bad knees since college. I think it was a combination of fencing in high school, bouncing down Mt. Washington and a midnight bike ride and just, generally my father's side of the family has bad knees and extra weight, which is a horrible combination.

On one hand, I'm glad I can still walk mostly pain free. I was afraid I would be using a cane at this point in my life. I'm also thankful that I can do taiko with only a little bit of restrictions. But time and again my knees have been one of the major hurdles in me getting regular exercise.

Rock climbing? can't, bad knees. Ariel silks? can't, bad knees. Lap swimming? Can't bad knees. Biking? I might be able to now, but before, couldn't, bad knees. Most workout videos, squats? burpies? lunges?

Well it struck again. While running my knee went out. So I can't run regularly at least at the weight I currently am. I might see if I can't do it once a week or something and build up some of the protective muscles around my knee, but I think this pretty much kills running on the program schedule.

I was really liking to be out doors too, so I might try a walking program or something. Get biking (gently) too. Maybe figure out how to make the elliptical not horribly boring.

It really annoys me.

My pace was better today walking half of it but that's because the GPS went berserk and shows me running in the pond. http://www.rundouble.com/run/5888587497209856/4b95nV7rw4

I have my replacement up for the last few days. It actually works. Things I've learned about myself and the band.

Wearing something 24/7 that I know is recording things about me makes me feel like a tagged animal. I also have to switch wrists because I start to get itchy.

The sleep tracker is, not unexpectedly, not that great. I woke up for a phone call this morning and it didn't notice it as a wake up. What it does tell me is approximately how long it takes me to fall asleep and about how little sleep I get that is relatively restful. I seem to move a lot when I sleep in general.

Taiko I've decided it would be unfair and mean to the device to wear it on my wrist, so I've been wearing it on my shirt. Not sure how much that's throwing it off.

The big win, however, is the inactivity alarm. This is why I went with an Up and not a withings (or anything else.) If I've been sitting too long, it vibrates and I've been actually getting up and getting my circulation and heart rate up.

I'm not sure how long term this device might be for me. The feeling of having it on all the time might drive me batty such that if it does fail in 3 months, I might just give up on at that point. We'll see. I'd give you a link to all my graphs, but one of the down sides of the up is a poor web service.

As a side note, I'm really glad I got the wifi scale. I like seeing the actual graph of my weight and I hope the data will help me when I see more of it.

So I was thinking to buy a treadmill today. I went to sears to at least messure them, since there aren't and dimentions (other than the belt size.) They had a floor model on sale! So I find a guy and ask him if he can go find the key to try it. He says yes, and disappears... for about 10 minutes, so I go find someone else, who finds the key. I try it and I kind of like it. I say, "I want to buy this, but if I do, what about the key?" The guy then spends another 15 minuntes being confused that 1) the floor model is already sold 2) they have new ones, yes it's the same discount price, no wait, no it's not 3) no, I don't get a key. Yes, I can't use it with out one.

So he finds his manager, who doesn't know how much or how long a new key would be, but says "it's just a magnet." I ask if he has anything to prove it's just a magnet, so he grabs something that half turns it on. While kind of freaking out, it starts raising it's incline. It keeps raising it. Pressing stop doesn't stop it. It keeps raising it. Pressing down doesn't stop it. It keeps going until if crunches is plastic into the "crosswalker" arm exercise attachment. They finally get it to stop and lower and the plastic is now damaged. Mostly just cosmetic and the discount price is still good enough, but I'm now worried about finding a magent which is "strong enough" as the manager says.

So I go wandering the tools, looking for something magnetic. At this point my salesman goes to help someone else. I can't find anything, so I start to consider the new models, sepficially the one I came into see that they don't have a display for. While I'm waiting, the other customer asks, "how long is this treadmill" the sales man looks confused, so I hand over my tape messure which I brought with me to messure treadmills.

I ask the salesman if they actually have the other model in stock. He says, "since you're being so helpful, would you go look up the number in the compute by the cash over there (it's a customer access to the sears.com website.) I do, and give it to him, but he's still busy and forgets it. I'm getting impatient at this point (if I hadn't checked online that sears had the best prices, I would have been out of there long ago.) I finally decide no and leave. I pay $4 for parking because of the stupid holiday.

So I drive to "sport authority" in assembly square. I get greeted right away. The guy has the treamill key hanging around his neck, so without missing a beat he can show me things. He asks if I'm going to be walking or running, I say walking and he actually shows me the lowest end model first. He explains that treadmill brands are almost all the same company, your just paying for the name, and then explains why one might want a more powerful motor, which has to do with noise and vibration. He's comptent, friendly and responsive. The treadmill is $10 here more than sears. I gladly pay the extra to see better customer service than I've seen in a long while.

So that's my treadmill story. I plan to put a laptop in front of it and play world of walk-craft.

PS, I love my car.

EDIT: oh the sport authority one doesn't have the stupid arm bars for it to hurt itself with.

I need exercise. My knees, however hate me.

I might try to buy a cheap treadmill of craigslist. I emailed someone selling on for $20, but not reply yet.

I did 6 songs of DDR today, which is better than nothing. I'm at least got my motablism up. too bad my knees say no more. It would be great if I could either loose enough weight or strengthen my knee protecting muscles enough to play full sets again. I'm really sad I let DDR leave my life.

I'm going to try to eat better this month with out going all calorie psycho. I might have to go all counting.