forgotten_aria

I went back to crossfit for upper body day and it was much better. I think I'm signing up and they'll make an allowance for me because I want to avoid leg day and I don't really want to do Tuesdays and Thursdays (they alternate days.)

I had wanted to sign up for a silks class, but the person said the class was full but tonight the aerial silks person phoned me and said I could take a trial class and see if my knee would cause me problems. It didn't, but I couldn't get the basic climbing or foot lock down. The other students were having no problems with any of the skills. I really liked the things I could do, so after I asked her how much of a problem it was that I couldn't do the basics. She said most people have trouble, but they condition as they go. Now, I will admit I brought it up, but I said something to the effect of "I'm worried my weight will make it harder for me." Meaning that I would have to gain more strength because of my weight. But she said in response, "have you tried aerobics? You just need a class that makes you sweat." No, a class that makes me sweat is not the easy answer. That's not how it works! I am so tired of naturally thin people thinking being a normal weight is easy. I started crying, told her my weight was complicated, I'd lost weight in the past, but always gained it back and more. I told her I would come back when I was stronger, but I'm not sure I can go back. I feel embarrassed, dismissed and repugnant.

EDIT: and it took away from the things I did do, like hanging upside down and doing situps.