forgotten_aria: (hole)
And the obsession gone. It faded a few days ago. I'm still enjoying the game and wanting to play, but the fire of obsession is gone. It's just a plain, ordinary interest now. It was super fun to ride it while it lasted. I keep trying to recapture it, but it's not happening. It's just so interesting how things are muted now and I can't even imagine what I remember feeling or even why. But even the memory still makes me happy.

I hope I can tap into that fire with other things more often. It felt so good for my brain.

youtube...

Jan. 17th, 2018 12:16 am
forgotten_aria: (susu squish)
So I realize I wasn't doing that well at building a youtube audience or even posting regularly, but I had slowly made $58 towards the $100 when google would actually pay me. Now I know $100 isn't a living, but it twigged that part of my brain that was programmed long ago that making money == worth. I realize I need to get away from that, but it was still being a motivator. Youtube sent email today saying monitization would be shut down for any channel which did not meet
"the new threshold of 4,000 hours of watchtime within the past 12 months and 1,000 subscribers."

To give a feel, my main channel has 4,000 minutes (ie, missing by a factor of 60) in the last 12 months. My review channel has about 1000 hours of watch time.

I will move my game streams back to twitch.tv but for the music, not quite sure what I want to do. Since I have been playing with the looping pedal, I could start streaming my music sessions.

But maybe since I wasn't been enough motivated to put in the time, maybe this is a good chance to reevaluate what I want to be trying to do.

I want to make things, preferably music. I want to know that I'm making someone's life a little happier. That part of my brain I can't unprogram would like to earn a trickle income.

If I start an etsy store, that requires making objects that might not sell and clutters the house. That's what I loved about the videos. They were made but they didn't take up SPACE.

I could continue on youtube and try to build a patreon following, but I feel very much like they've spat on the little guy, so I'm a bit angry.

I need to be doing something productive, something that feels like an accomplishment and an expression.

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