running

[forgotten_aria]

I'm coming to the realization that I don't hate running, I just hate being slow and everything that mean. From childhood associations of inadequacy to just feeling guilty if people have to wait for me.

I wonder what I can do to start separating running from these issues so it doesn't send me in to a mental health spiral.

Comments

[dcltdw]

I'm not a fan of group runs, because almost certainly I'm one of the slowest. Now, that said, I typically go to a Wed night group run, because it turns out that they're only slightly faster than me, and the logistics are a perfect workout for me (2 mi warmup, 3 mi at tempo pace, 2 mi cooldown).

That said, it helps tremendously that this is a group that fissioned out of Run Fellow Run Club, whose motto was I Like Your Pace, and was explicitly set up to be welcoming to slower runners. (When runners finished, they didn't go inside to the bar, they stayed outside and formed a two-column line. Everyone finishing after the 1st person got a high five from everyone who finished before them, so the last person got all the high fives. Pretty cool to experience, and a fantastic way to hammer home the club's values, which led to good esprit de corps.)

Have you considered joining a track club? The nice thing about running laps is you never really fall behind. Sure, people will be starting their set #4 while you're finishing your set #3, but at least for me, I'm still around people, and that's what matters. Nrrrr, I'm around supportive people, and that's what matters. :D

One thing that I've heard multiple times from faster runners is how much respect they have for slower runners: they went through this workout in, whatever, 35 minutes, but there are people out there at 45 minutes, and holy crap, they can do that for 45 minutes?!? So they don't think of it in terms of pace time, they think of it in terms of total time, and that's something they find inspiring. First time I heard that, I was like: nooo, wait, really?!? But I've heard it multiple times over the years.

Speaking for myself, I give mad props to slower runners, because I've been that person - multiple times, due to taking breaks because of injuries or burnout or depression - and I know how much that phase sucks for me. Slower runners are not more or less inspiring than faster runners, they are qualitatively differently inspiring - but no less so to me.

[forgotten_aria]

I am not sure you feel exactly how slow I am. I was 2x slower than the other people on a 800m run. 7 minutes. In the realm of "most people can walk it faster than that." I would have been faster if I wasn't already in a defeated mood, but not by much. When I train 3x a week for 6 months, I can get down to ~6 minutes.

"Everyone finishing after the 1st person got a high five from everyone who finished before them, so the last person got all the high fives."

This is actually exactly the kind of thing that triggers me. Same with being cheered on (though I'm getting better at that.) I understand the intention and the support, but it usually makes the bad voices louder. This is all my baggage and I have to figure out how to unlearn it.

I haven't done much group running other than CrossFit and almost always they scale it so that I'm running a shorter distance but for the same amount of time but I have most run while training for my Black Belt test which is specific time for 1.5 miles.

I think I need to find a reason to run with no time pressure at all. I kind of wish I had some where to run TO. If I still lived in somerville running to the square to get something would be perfect, but out here, I'd have to drive somewhere to have a nice place to run.

[dcltdw]

You're actually going faster than what I recalled. Go you on progress!

> In the realm of "most people can walk it faster than that."

Yeah, I larped with a speedwalker who could speedwalk faster than me.
Number of people who cared about this: zero. point. zero.
Back when I was using FB, Cher and I would cheer each other on in our respective speedwalking/running posts.

I think I've told you this before, but it bears repeating a saying from a track club friend of mine:

Sure, you want to finish a race.
But not finishing is better than not starting.
Not starting is better than not training.
And not training (and just running without a plan) is better than not even trying.

Don't move the goalposts on yourself.

> Same with being cheered on

Oooh yeah, I hear you on that. I think you have a much worse case than me, though, so my sympathies. What I try to do is ruthlessly ignore those voices and replace it with me saying "Yeah! I am tremendous! C'mon, louder now!" It got a lot easier with practice, so that's something I'd recommend.

Unless I'm running a non-marathon for a PR, I'll always veer over to the side of the road with the little kids holding out their hands to high-five runners as they go by. So many runners just blow right by them and I'm like OH COME ON NOW. As I run up, I start yelling HIGH FIVE! HIGH FIVE! and I believe it makes the kids' day: WOOO Mom, Dad, I got to high-five a runner!!

Something I do routinely at marathons near the end: if the crowd is vaguely cheering and I need a boost (editor's note: Mr Leung always needs a boost at the end of a marathon), I'll flap my arms up in a "make some noise!" gesture, and sure enough, the crowd goes wild.

And sure, part of me snarks: "Really? You want them to cheer the fat slow guy?"
But I know exactly what to say back: "Sweetie, they're cheering for me, not for you."

[dcltdw]

I think I need to find a reason to run with no time pressure at all. I kind of wish I had some where to run TO. If I still lived in somerville running to the square to get something would be perfect, but out here, I'd have to drive somewhere to have a nice place to run.

I use mapmyrun.com to plan out routes. I don't routinely drive out to somewhere to start a run, but over this past winter, yeah, I've gone to two different locations. One was a spot along the Minuteman bikepath (I'm 1 mile from the Alewife terminus, so I was instead starting at mile 3); another was the Mystic Lakes.

I'm guessing there are probably bike paths near you, so maybe you could do some research to find a parking lot (or just a quiet side street) where you can park and then go for a run.

My first running coach encouraged me to go on runs where I start my watch and then proceed to ignore it until I stop, and in the meantime, just enjoy the run. It, ah, took awhile before I could really do that. (I've been successful at doing that this year. It's not super clear to me if I was successful at doing that in past years. It's 2022, and I started running in... 2008? Yeah, don't be like me in that regard. :D )

Oh right, and once it warms up, trails along rivers. The only thing I miss about commuting into Cambridge was that it made running along the Charles River soooo much easier. In all seasons, it just made for a really enjoyable run. :) (Well. Okay. Not if it was raining; I hate running in the rain. :D )

[forgotten_aria]

I want to get a parking pass for Harold Parker Forest this year and start walking/running there. It's a pretty nice place and it has a variety of paths, everything form a dirt road you could drive a car down to trail runs. I'll see if I can't make it a habit to just go there and then do what I feel like (run, walk, take photos, etc.) and NOT take my GPS watch. I think I need to explicitly not track myself at all for a bit.

[dcltdw]

That sounds like a really smart plan! Only thing I might suggest is explicitly carving out a day/time to do this, but that might be too much for right now.