[taiko]

[forgotten_aria]

So the sticks passed inspection by my teacher, but they made my hands sore, I think because they are too small and I should perhaps make larger ones. he stared at the kanji, but didn't say anything. I'm not sure if it's because he couldn't read it (because I botched it or whatever).

I'm left with a vague unsatisified feeling, like disappointed someone and that the class went by so fast and I had such trouble with the song. It might be party due to me missing set up, which I actively look forward to, for some strange reason.

He asked us to think about what we felt. Everyone gave these answers about feeling medititive and engery, and leaving hte world behind, which I feel a little of, but I gave this lame answer about worring about all the things I'm doing wrong, and then being happy after the fact, but during I'm stressed and frustrated. It makes me wonder if I'm too cerebral. I think this is the most likely reason for my feeling that I disappointed someone.

I worry this might be the first step of, like every hobby I've had, the souring that comes from my over anxious sense to please and preform well.

Comments

[thomb.livejournal.com]

I think your answer sounds like a genuine one, and my guess is that a lot of the other people were just saying what they thought you were supposed to say.

I think that means that you're farther along with it the way you're supposed to be than they are. :)

[forgotten-aria.livejournal.com]

Except the teacher gave a similiar answer, about how it quites all the hurrican in his head.

[thomb.livejournal.com]

I think I didn't say what I meant in the right way.

What I mean is that many of the students were saying it, perhaps precisely because the teacher did. My guess (and it's not very charitable, I admit) is that many of the students are just repeating what the teacher said. For the teacher, I assume it's genuine, and probably for some of the students too.

But I don't buy that every student had the same kind of reaction. So I think you're a leg up on those who are pretending, because you at least know what your reaction really is!

I stay, stick with it, and do it as long as you enjoy it. Don't worry about doing it right, but also don't worry about having the "right reactions" to what you're doing. My guess is that many of the students have the same reactions as you do, and they are just pretending. I don't mean they're dishonest or anything, just that this is human nature.

[forgotten-aria.livejournal.com]

Except he answered last.

It's not important. I'm just doing my normal social stressing thing. There is no way I'm giving this up over stupid things. I do it a lot.