The peices don't quite fit

So here's my delema.

Taekwondo:

• is good for me physically: I'm feeling less pain and more ease of movement


• makes me happy: I look forward to it and usually come home feeling good


• costs money

Taiko:

• was physically damaging: both my arm issue and hearing loss


• was causing me tons of stress: I still watch them not getting enough help from people, the group is struggling for new members as well


• paid money: I could officially call myself a professional musician


• had a great community: both the people I saw every week and the people who I saw once every two years. I'm still missing a community like that.


• let me perform: I'm still performing with them some, but no where near as much as I'd like to, though me rejoining wouldn't completely fix hat

Taiko and Taekwondo are both evening things and cannot be reasonably done together.

My other musical/artistic pursuits are not panning out. It is extremely hard being a solo act and also trying to learn an instrument and do something different with it. I really want to be performing on a regular basis.

My ability to deprogram myself to be ok with no income still hasn't crossed the tipping point. I really want to be doing something that brings in money, even if it's only a little bit of money.

Logic says that I shouldn't go back to taiko, but my heart wants me to damn it all and just return.

Learning to be bad

You gotta be bad before you can be good. Success usually only occurs after many failures. So right now I'm struggling with learning how to fail.

I wrote a pretty darn cheesy song, and when it is done I will share it's horrible cheesy glory. Did I mention I'm rapping... not something I should do.

Let's hope I can keep on just doing.