principal, stupidity, bitterness and trees

[forgotten_aria]

I'm not doing something because I disagree with some of it's underlying philosphies. Nothing too horrible, but enough little things that I really annoyes me. No one is noticing me not do it, so it's not changing anything, not making anyone see anything different. In not doing it, I've separated myself from having fun with a lot of people I like. This is causing me to be bitter. I can't see anyway of changing the situation, other than comprimising my princaple stand.

Am I being stupid to be so subborn? Is there anyway I could feel less bitter about it?

Comments

[feylike.livejournal.com]

i guess there are no easy answers for this sort of situation. i think that ultimately, behaving according to a principle only benefits you in that it brings you satisfaction. this satisfaction may only extend to knowing that you are right and those who do not follow your principle are wrong, even if this satisfaction at being right results in your unhappiness in other parts of your life. i guess one useful question to ask may be "is this principle important enough to me that i'm willing to suffer in other parts of my life to follow this principle?", and i realize that may be a very difficult question to answer.

[jencallisto]

Would it help to talk about the stand that you're making, such that other people are more aware of it?

[forgotten-aria.livejournal.com]

I did talk about it initially, It's part of what convinced me it was a difference of beliefs, rather than something I could comfortably fit in to. Talking about it further would just make me a complainer. Even posting this vague post just puts stress on those people who are involved, but care about me.

[bdeakin.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you're talking about!

Anyway, I think its important to stick to your guns. If something makes you uncomfortable, you're never really going to be happy commuting your ideals just because its convenient.

At best, the particular "situation" you're talking about is an uncomfortable, but clearly rationalized, cost-benefit. Sometimes participation has involved making somewhat distasteful decisions, and while its easy to say, "Its a game, who cares," not everyone has taken that approach.

I think, if you decide you want to participate, its important to remember that you needn't agree with an institution 100% to be a particaptory member; we'd all have trouble being US citizens were that the case, I wager.

[forgotten-aria.livejournal.com]

I often try to take the "it's a game" approach, but sometimes it comes back to haunt me, particulalry when most of the people I'm surrounded by go off happily chatting about things I don't have an oppertunity to do.

I do try to remind myself that the one player version of the game is still fun for me and I should embrass that. I don't want to be bitter. I want the sum of fun over the range of all friends to be maximized.

I'm just wondering if I'm taking the wrong approach, since I keep not being able to keep my mouth shut.