hair advice

I know nothing about taking care of my hair beyond shampoo, conditioner and brushing. I like to have it down, but mere minutes after I brush it, it will form strand clumps (like, not a ball, but my hair sectionalizes itsself, as if someone was dividing it up for 20 or so braids.) I can't blow dry my hair, because my hair becomes fragile. I also can't brush it when it's very wet (it gets super-springy, so it doesn't let go of the brush or comb properly and breaks and hurts.) Is there a method that I'm missing to train this behavior our of my hair so it will keep that just-been-brushed uniformity for longer than a few minutes?