Allowed

Is allowed not applicable when the enforcer of the rule is yourself? Does the word itself imply an outside rule maker?
Is there a correct word for "I'm not allowing myself to do this"?

I'm asking because I've had this problem that I've used the word in serveral contexts of self discipline and I sometimes give people the wrong impression. (coraline this is not directly related to your comment on my DDR post.)

Everything Can Be Beaten

"Timidly, an idea crawls out of the lesser used regions of IT's mind, the kind of regions perfect for making cheeses in. Dark places left unvisited for billions of years. Okay, so I don't really know anything about cheese making, but the idea charges right down IT's arm and he swings. And yes, it works! Beating! Beating is happiness!"

Vasquez, though repeatative, still amuses me.