forgotten_aria | Warning, rant.

Warning, rant.

Valentine's day should be changed to "Get off you butt, do the things you haven't had courage to do, appricate the things that you do have" and take the pretense of romance out of it. Those things could still be asking people out and appricating your SO, but it could also be things like asking for a raise or finishing putting the new wax seal in the toilet or appricating that you have very nice pants that fit. The stores could still sell their wares, it just wouldn't have the lonelifying effect, since hte stress would be on you going out and doing something for yourself.

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nononono! Rename the holiday to Phil's day!

First off, it makes more sense. Valentine probably never existed. So you can continue to name it after a probably nonexistent Catholic saint or someone who you know and love dearly. *flutters eyelashes*

Secondly, do you feel the same way about birthdays? It's nice to have a day set aside in a year in which you and your SO exchange presents. It's nice to have a day devoted to each other. Occasionally, daily life intereferes. Frankly, that day should occur more than once a year.

That said, Phil's day actually has nothing to do with the romance or anything. Phil's day has to do with the unadulterated celebration of all things Phil-like. Enjoy being a sneak and setting up an elaborate plan for your SO. Enjoy geeking out with the love of your life in the next chair over. Enjoy going out to a bar and meeting new people. Ask someone out. A lot of those things don't necessarily involve great schemes, courage, or otherwise. They'll make you feel warm and cozy, all the same.

Besides, the getting off of one's ass thing should be done every day, don't you think? Although it is, in its way, strictly un-Phil-ish.

That's actually the way my last relationship began. I asked her out right before Phil's day (like a week before).

For those of us who find themselves alone and forgotten, a day set aside for the lucky ones who have someone to love is doubly hurtful. It is bad enough being unwanted, but having it rubbed in by all the unavoidable fuss makes it so much harder to ignore.

Birthdays aren't any better. I remember one on which I received nothing; not a single a greeting. The next year I was delighted when I got a card from my insurance agent (even though it was because he was about to adjust my premiums due to the age change), and a friendly email from my husband's mistress. At least someone noticed.

I fully understand why some folks keep their birthdays a secret; at least then, when no one shows any interest, there is an excuse for it to have been missed that doesn't involve undermining self-esteem.
How about a day for remembering those who have been left out? How about a Lonely Hearts day for sending cards and gifts to those who live alone?

Isn't the problem your expectations then? I mean, for example, if you hadn't expected anything, you wouldn't have been disappointed. Even with my blossoming social life, the only gift I actually got was from my girlfriend's family.

Personally, I think I need to make friends with others who aren't broke college students. On the other hand, I am one of those, so I shouldn't throw too many rocks.

Frankly, this is the perfect reason to rechristen the holiday ; ) Forget the love stuff. Geek! Read! Drink! Light fireworks! Play with aerosol flamethrowers!

Oooh! Best of all! Set off dry ice bombs in front of concrete structures for the _really_ loud boom they make!!!!

Expectations. That's the point. By being accepted by the masses as the custom, the "holidays" create the expectations. So when the socialization (from the cradle) is that at least one someone ~should~ care at a particular time, but then no one does, then the person thus forgotten feels defective, even if they didn't expect any acknowledgment. This is the event at fault, and not the person who knows they don't mean enough to anyone to deserve being remembered on that Special Day set aside for it.

If there were no special day, a person could just let themselves believe that everyone who knows them is just too busy, doesn't go in for that kind of stuff, or hasn't got around to it yet.

If there were a different special day (Phil's day instead of V-day), then there wouldn't be a problem.

Except in your description of Phil Day you said:

Enjoy being a sneak and setting up an elaborate plan for your SO. Enjoy geeking out with the love of your life in the next chair over. Enjoy going out to a bar and meeting new people. Ask someone out.

Which has expectactions involved. But really, I think that Bink isn't taking your posts with enough humor and you're taking her posts with too much emotions (I'm pretty sure she is stating her (and my) case with a reasonable amount of detachment.)

Bink, phil, phil, bink.

I don't think that either one of you needs to further your point, since I think that the deifficulties of the medium of text is mostly what is fueling the debate.

Sure, but didn't I say all things Phil-like? If I didn't, I meant it 8)

Look, if nothing else, the name sounds better ; )

Oh, hiya bink =D

I do feel the same way about birthdays, which is part of why I don't tell anyone what my actual birthday is. That and I forget birthdays, so I don't want anyone getting upset because they remembered mine, but I didn't remember theirs.

Having a Phil day sounds fine, but I agree that it shouldn't involve SOs. From what I've learned about you (but I'm still learning) there would be lots of things that could celebrate Philness that would be accessible to all people, attached, lonely or otherwise.

I've seen to many people hurt by the expectations of V-day and not that many people helped by it. To much romance for the sake of the expectations, rather than for the sake of the romance.

That's why I think it should be do something for yourself day, so that it's only you that can let you down, not your life situation.

Anyway, I think that if I were to have a day I would want candles and singing!

But anyway, Happy belated Phil day.

Thanks =D

I used to forget birthdays. Then I discovered cron and e-cards 8)

I hate to say it, but a lot of the sneaky/cute things I've done for

relsqui are at least partially for myself. It's nice to surprise people. Especially when they have no idea it's coming ; )

I'm not so much in for the candles and singing as I am for armies marching in the streets. I have a friend lined up for the parade formations and to handle the press coverage the year after I take over.

The year after that will have them taking potshots at those new years balloons. Those things are just begging for a couple of minutes at close range with a flame thrower.

I think that's really what I'm for. Giant balloons passing before me. If I approve, they continue. If I don't, then they're destroyed in any one of a number of amusing ways I dream up.

Yeah. That's really what Philday is all about. The other stuff is just a crutch for now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Warning, rant.

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