forgotten_aria: (chun li kick)
I feel I should post an update, because it's been a while an many things have been happening.

My mother finally went home after her 2-weeks-turning-into-9?-months visit ended. She spent the last week with me. When she got here it was still warm enough to kayak on the pond.

TKD turns out to be very good for me. It gives me several of the things I was hoping it would. It seems to be a better workout than taiko ever was and my body is feeling BETTER for it, which isn't usually the case with me and exercise. In specific, my knees are stronger (though still have to be careful), my back is more flexible and my neck is a lot happier. My mother bought me, after much waffling on my part, a water weighted kicking bag. So now I can kick things at home. My 6 months of searching for a school and my 10 years of taiko seem to have prepared me fairly well. So far I have been ready for every available belt test, though I'm definitely less prepared for this belt test than I have been for others. I'm still only doing simple forms, too. There's a blackbelt form that I've already fallen in love with and is the first real desire to get a black belt, just so I can do that poomsae. My Korean sucks, however, so that's been the most difficult part.

I'm still fairly involved in taiko despite having "quit." I've decided to add myself to the group as a "Guest artist" playing shinbue (Japanese flute.) I'm doing most of their non-YA gigs. Which is a great compromise for me, since I still get to perform, without all the stress of being in the group and trying to rebuild it to what I wanted it to be and the physical and hearing stress of drumming. Their building where they practice had some roof damage from the snow, so they've been practicing in a basement for the past few months and classes were suspended. They're back in the building (which has been shored up, but not fixed,) so I hope they get classes going again soon. I came back and guest taught the advance class because they were having some trouble with a line from the song I had last taught. Sadly every time I do drum for one reason or another (YA fill in, teaching) my neck and shoulder already kind of warn that, yes, this is a bad thing.

This makes me sad, because I do miss the awesome community and I miss taiko and I miss traveling everywhere and sharing it with people. TKD does not give me the performing I crave and, even though the people at the dojang are quite nice, doesn't give me the community. That might get a little better once I can attend demo team practices, but from what I've seen from those practices, I'm not getting my hopes up.

So I'm still seeking a new community of people working together to create something. I think I have to abandon any serious attempt at light spinning, because the community sets my teeth a little on edge. The fact that they're insensitive to using the word poi incorrectly and the fact that the stereotype seems to be either crunchy granola or raver. I realize I'm being picky by going by stereotype, but I've already been burned by finding an amazing community and then finding out that I didn't really belong as much as I thought. And since I'm unwilling to spin fire, which seems to be what the "cool" kids do, then I don't think it's the right direction for me. That being said, image poi still rock my world, so I might get them and then maybe learn TKD staff or even use them as nuchaku if I get good enough that I won't risk damaging them. (My TKD school teaches nuchaku as the first weapon.)

I've also been thinking a lot about anti-fatshaming advocacy. There is this very frustrating narrative on the Internet that normal weight == healthy, overweight == not healthy. This makes arguments very frustrating because there is a large part of the population that just believe that your weight is the important thing and you simply cannot be healthy and overweight. It's impossible to discuss anything with them, because in their brain overweight IS a disease. I want to make youtube videos that explain some of my logic, the most important being that fat-shaming, no matter what you believe, doesn't help people get healthy or lose weight. But it's such a rats nest of belligerent people, I'm not sure if I'll find the courage, especially since when I think I have a nice solid argument, even among my friends, I often find out I wasn't as clear as I thought I was. My brain and language have a weird relationship.

I'm still working on my harp. I keep getting delayed by various things, but I want to work up enough material for an open mic.

P.S. My birthmonth was weird for a bunch of reasons, including that I am now older than my dad ever was, but the party surprised me. So many amazing people showed up and I felt very lucky. It was likely one of the best birthmonth parties I've had.
forgotten_aria: (silver Dress)
In general, I like the Simpsons. Sometimes the episode isn't that funny, but in general there's usually a good laugh or two.

The episode "Walking Big and Tall" was completely offensive and damaging. It continues to perpetuate that all overweight people are that way because they're eating horrible food choices, actively working at it. But really, that's still par for Hollywood right now. What was horribly offensive was getting the positive body image movement completely wrong.

While I'm sure there are groups out there that might encourage bad eating habits, the idea of loving yourself as who you are is NOT an unhealthy thing to do. Fat shaming is damaging and does not cause people to make better life choices. I've spent a lifetime hating myself and I'm working hard to unlearn that. I am sick of people equating overweightness and unhealthiness. If you eat crap and don't exercise, then you likely aren't very healthy, even if you you are "the correct weight."

There have been countless studies that show that weight is a combination of many things, but highly determined by genetics (and a good part is the gut biome). Including a few that were done at a time when they could do things like force feed prisoners 10000 calories a day. Some didn't even gain weight and all them returned to their starting size when allowed to return to normal eating habits.

And then to end the episode implying that yo-yo dieting is healthy and that you just have to "get it right" by reaching "emotional maturity."

I don't know how to change the world, but I wish I did. People talk about never seeing representation of themselves on TV, well I would love to just once see a non-rail thin actress who isn't completely obsessed with any food in frame.

Promote health at any size. Being active and eating right, despite being fat or thin. Call out fat shaming when it happens. It never helps and can often hurt horribly.

Don't tell people it's worth taking health risks for them to reduce their weight (like liposuction or unhealthy fad diets.) That's not healthy either.

I don't know if writing fox would do any good at all. I wish I were more eloquent and could be a voice. I wish I were stronger and could stand up to the hordes of people on the internet who look at fat like a cancerous growth. That in their mind being overweight is a disease all in itself. And the ones who think it's "easy" that anyone who is overweight just isn't trying, and just needs to stop drinking soda, eating hamburgers and get off the couch.

EDIT: I seem to be alone in these thoughts. The only news about the episode was the cameo.

P.S. Don't thin shame either. People are different shapes and sizes, accept them!


Mar. 21st, 2014 03:21 pm
forgotten_aria: (hole)
I'm tired of being fat (though this is nothing new.)

I realize this is a poor motivation for exercise since weight loss is a lost cause but good health is not, but I'll take what I can get.

I've been using the Zumba kinect games (not the first one because it's horrible) and they seem to be good for improving my general well being (getting the kinks out, getting some good circulation) but not really for weight loss or high cardio.

A lot of my friends are running now. blah blah running blah )


Jan. 20th, 2013 06:22 pm
forgotten_aria: (silver Dress)
I found this cool weight loss coach app called noom. It has some cool things like it will use your phone's accelerometer as a pedometer (which, since I almost never have my phone in my pocket, it's that useful.) Let's you scan UPCs with the phones camera (had about a 50% hit rate. Though, really, chocolate frosted mini-wheats should not be "health cereal.") And has some interesting articles, fitness tracking and personal goals for each day. You can also set meal logging reminders.

Now, that being said, what I really found out is I just can't any more. I can't log my food. It makes me grumpy and angry. I need to find a way to change what I'm eating with out thinking so hard about it and with out being told that I can't eat any more today. I really makes me just want to never eat again, which isn't healthy and not something I can do. So sadly I'm going back to using fitocracy, which only logs exercise, because then I feel good entering in new exercise and even find myself doing something just so I CAN enter it.

I think I really do, especially this late in life with the genetics I'm fighting, just focus on being healthy, not being thin. Regular exercise, being active and mobile and moving and eating good things.
forgotten_aria: (silver Dress)
I was watching a program which was (badly) debating if you could be healthy and over weight. One side included someone who had been a model and had nearly killed her self with her skinnyness, but was now a "plus sized" model at size 12. The other side had someone who had been horribly unhealthy while overweight and had lost her weight and regained her health.

What the once fat person couldn't see if that to prove that not all skinny people are healthy, the single example of the model being unhealthy proves that but to prove that all fat people are unhealthy, you can not just say, "I was unhealthy" and have it even chip away at the burden of evidence.

I wonder if this is a fundemental problem that some people have understanding the world?

Also, why didn't anyone point out that the "plus size" model wasn't overweight at all? This doesn't actual add to the arguement, other than the definition of "fat" needs some work.

Sadly the show was completely dumb.


forgotten_aria: (Default)

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